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In this very ring. . .

25th March, 2007. 1:33 am. New Owner. . . .(bennyc4youandme)

Yes, once again, there is a new owner of the WWF. "The Hardcore Justice" Jason Vaughan was ousted from his ownership by angry shareholders who were decidedly not hardcore. One day these shareholders will realize, "Hey, being a wrestler and winning a tournament doesn't qualify someone to own a major corporation!" That won't be any time soon, though. "Hardcore" Allen Gillespie won a hard-fought tournament to become the owner of the company. This should get interesting. . . .

(Who's better than Frank?)

11th December, 2005. 5:02 am. Mozart's Revenge(landogriffin23)

In Tag-team action, Gina Gioiello and Kim "The Krusher" Kouch defeated The Girl and Morgan Wilson.

Richard "Assface" Adams defeated Gabie "The Game" Ganey.

Charlie Lucas had sex with Johann Sebastian "Bone-Baraquin" Bach, and won the match.

Hal "The Director" McIntosh and "Hardcore" Allen Gillespie defeated Handicap Harry and Roy G. Brady to become Number One Contenders for the Tag Team Titles.

Jeff "Jesus" Cornelius claimed victory over Chris "The Mayor" Robinson and Brooks Etheredge in a handicap match.

In a Light Heavyweight Title Match, Lydia "The Sledgehammer" Ellison reclaimed the belt by beating Maria "Der Fuehrer" Hanvy.

In a Ladder Match, Colin Vinson defeated Cameron Vinson.

George and Carol Vinson defended their Tag Team Titles against the "Old-Schoolest Guys Ever," "Old-School" Frank Hadder and Brett "The Inside Joker" Davis.

Mandie Lucas defeated Justin "Yellow Shirt" Banks.

"Stone Curly" Elaine Harris became the new Hardcore Champion, by defeating Lee "Simba" Wright in a Ladder Match.

Ben's Dad defeated Sara James in a Cage Match.

In a Intercontinental Championship Rematch, Eric "The Fat-Head of the Opera" Cleveland successfully defended his title against "The Cheese Whiz" Kevin Hobbs.

In an Ironman Match, by a score of 11-0, Brandon "Magic" Vinson annihilated "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright.

Justin "Yellow Shirt" Banks put his earlier loss to Mandie Lucas behind him and won the Hardcore First-Blood Royal Rumble to become Number One Contender for the World Heavyweight Title.

In a First Blood Match, Big Tony Wanger came out on top against "Wicked" Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to defend his World Heavyweight Championship.

(Who's better than Frank?)

8th December, 2005. 1:21 am. Hey Crazy!(landogriffin23)

Zach Banks, The Girl, and Stone Curly Elaine Harris fought a triple threat match that ended in a draw.

The Coolest Guys Ever, Brett "The Inside Joker" Davis and "Old-School" Frank Hadder, defeated Handicap Harry and Roy G. Brady, to become Number One Contenders for the Tag Team Titles.

In the Hardcore Championship, Lee "Simba" Wright defeated Ben's Dad.

Maria "Der Fuehrer" Hanvy defeated Jessica "A.I.D.S.-ie" Blackwell to become the Light Heavyweight Champion. In the process, Maria contracted A.I.D.S. when Jessica A.I.D.S. Bombed her.

"Gigantic" George Vinson and "Crazy" Carol Vinson defeated Kim "The Krusher" Kouch and Ludwig van Beethoven in a tag match.

Brian "Bean Dip" McConnell defeated "The Hardcore Justice" Jason Vaughn in a very sadistic manner.

Eric "The Fat-Head of the Opera" Cleveland beat "The Cheese-Whiz" Kevin Hobbs to become the new Intercontinental Champion.

Adam "Sneaky" Wesley and "Crazy" Carol Vinson fought to a draw.

"Wicked" Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart won the First-Blood Royal Rumble to become number one contender for the World Heavyweight Title.

Ben's Mom defeated Adam "Sneaky" Wesley.

In a ladder match, Brandon "Magic" Vinson beat the living crap out of "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright.

In a God-awful triple threat match, Big Tony Wanger won the World Heavyweight Title by defeating Justin "Yellow Shirt" Banks and Melissa Harbison.

(2 better than Frank | Who's better than Frank?)

29th September, 2005. 3:35 am. Results: Hardcoria(landogriffin23)

In tag team action, Gabie "The Game" Ganey and Richard "Assface" Adams defeated "Big Bad" Jon Becker and Adam Wright.

"Sexual Chocolate" Mark Howard defeated Morgan "The Machine" Wilson.

With "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright as the guest referee, Ben's Mom defeated "Crazy" Carol Vinson.

Long time friends and tag team partners, Handicap Harry and Monty H. Bleedalot, were forced into a first blood match. Needless to say, Bleedalot bled a lot, losing to Handicap Harry.

In a ladder match for the Tag Team Championship, Roy G. Brady fought alone and won against Brian McConnell and "Brave" Bonnie Brown. Unfortunately, Roy was severely injured and had to vacate the title.

"Old-School" Frank Hadder defeated Kim "The Krusher" Kouch.

Jessica "A.I.D.S.ie" Blackwell defended her Light Heavyweight Championship against Adam "Sneaky" Wesley.

Lydia "The Sledgehammer" Ellison pulled out a nail-biter, why not, against "Sadistic" Sara James.

George Vinson put on a very poor performance as he lost a Hardcore Championship match to Ben's Dad.

"Jazzy" Ben Cook told Rick Barnes shut the hell up about the rent as he defeated him.

Big Tony Wanger defeated "Mr. Showtime" Zach Banks.

"The Cheese Whiz" Kevin Hobbs skipped out on his tag partner and best friend to become the new Intercontinental Champion as he defeated Joseph Marshall.

Melissa Harbison won the Hardcore First-Blood Royal Rumble to become number one contender for the World Heavyweight Title.

Our new owner, "The Hardcore Justice" Jason Vaughan was able to come from behind to beat "Hardcore" Allen Gillespie.

Out of nowhere, Justin "Yellowshirt" Banks was able to defeat Brandon "Magic" Vinson to become the new World Heavyweight Champion.

(1 better than Frank | Who's better than Frank?)

22nd September, 2005. 5:11 am. WE HAVE A NEW OWNER!(bennyc4youandme)

Due to a drop in ratings, Lee Wright and Elizabeth Lovell have been relieved of their positions as co-owners of the WWF.

A tournament to decide the new owner was held, and Jason Vaughan secured that position. He defeated Justin Banks in a long, grueling match in which Allen Gillespie interfered on behalf of Vaughan, while Brandon Vinson interfered on behalf of Banks.

When asked for comment, Vaughan simply stated, "I don't know, man. I've come a long way. Worked at the GAP, man, worked my way up the ranks. Now I'm the most hardcore owner of the WWF in history, man. Man."

Not all were as pleased with the results as the head of the Supreme Kourt, however. Brandon Vinson had this to say.

"Look, I did everything in my unlimited power to ensure that the Big Yellow Machine won. It's all about Evolution, and he screwed up. Hell, I even had the most softcore man in America tapping out in my Magic Rack! Why couldn't the Big Yellow Retard finish him off? Damn."

Justin Banks could not be reached for comment.

(Who's better than Frank?)

22nd September, 2005. 3:07 am. Results: P.T.A. Meeting(bennyc4youandme)

In a fatal four way match featuring Lydia "The Sledgehammer" Ellison, Big Tony Wanger, The Girl, and Lee Wright, Wanger came out the victor.

Kevin Hobbs and Roy G. Brady defeated "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Howard and John Howard to become the number one contenders for the Tag Team Championship.

Adam "Sneaky" Wesley defeated "Der Macho Man" Johannes Brahms.

Brooks Etheredge pulled a win over Jesse Yitram.

The Coolest Guys Ever, "Unfriendly" Frank Hadder and Brett "The Inside Joker" Davis failed to capture the Tag Team Championship from Brian McConnell and "Brave" Bonnie Brown.

Typically, no one won the triple threat match featuring "Big Bad" Jon Becker, Justin "Yellow Shirt" Banks, and "Gigantic" George Vinson.

Jessica "A.I.D.S.-ie" Blackwell reclaimed the Light-Heavyweight Championship from her old rival, Lydia Ellison, who was still weary from her earlier match.

"Above-Average" Ashley Tidmore and "Der Fuehrer" Maria Hanvy defeated "Wicked" Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

John Cook defeated "Stone Curly" Elaine Harris to successfully defend his Hardcore Championship once again.

"Jazzy" Ben Cook fought a tough match against "The Hardcore Justice" Jason Vaughan, barely coming out on top.

Joseph Marshall never gave Rick "The Brick" Barnes a chance, defeating him to retain the Intercontinental Title. Brandon "Magic" Vinson made sure of this.

Kathy Cook defeated Montgomery Bleedalot in a steel cage match.

Lee "Simba" Wright and "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright lost to The Girl and "Mr. Showtime" Zach Banks in a tag team ladder match.

Kevin Hobbs won the Hardcore First-blood Royal Rumble, becoming the number-one contender for the Intercontinental Championship. He established his new identity as "The Cheese Whiz."

With the help of special guest referee Lydia "The Sledgehammer" Ellison, Brandon "Magic" Vinson easily defeated Kyle Bucher, ending the challenger's short career and successfully defending his recently-acquired (in a tournament) World Heavyweight Championship.

(Who's better than Frank?)

19th June, 2004. 12:15 am. Results: Last Chance(bennyc4youandme)

Jonathan Sutton & Amanda Westfall defeated Justin "The Drummer" Vinson & "Jovial" Josh Gilbert.

Adam Smith defeated Ben "The Bus" Jordan.

"Above Average" Ashley Tidmore defeated Kim "The Krusher" Kouch.

Johann Sebastian "Bone-Baraquin'" Bach & Ludwig van "Badass" Beethoven defeated Lee "Simba" Wright & Eric "Lazy" Lambert.

"Merciless" Miss Jane Gibbs defeated "Der Macho Man" Johannes Brahms.

The "Coolest Guys Ever", Brett "The Inside-Joker" Davis & "Unfriendly" Frank Hadder defeated "Chainsaw" Charlie Lucas & Daniel Warren to become Number-one contenders for the Tag Team Titles.

John Cook defeated Chris "The Mayor" Robinson to once again defend his Hardcore Championship. I guess he didn't want to "hug the mayor."

"The Living Legend" Lacey Johnson defeated both Handicap Harold & Montgomery Bleedalot.

In a Tag Team Championship Match, Brian "Bean Dip" McConnell & "Brave" Bonnie Brown defeated "Big Don" Jonathan Haynes & "Sticky Hands" Michael Connors.

"Gigantic" George Vinson defeated "Big Bad" Jon Becker.

Joseph Marshall defeated "Stone Curly" Elaine Harris to become the new Intercontinental Champion.

Rick "The Brick" Barnes & Justin "Yellow Shirt" Banks came together to defeat "Hardcore" Allen Gillespie & "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright.

In a Ladder Match, Brandon "Magic" Vinson defeated "Jazzy" Ben Cook.

In a Triple Threat Match, "Mr. Showtime" Zach Banks defeated "Sadistic" Sara James, while Brian "Bean Dip" McConnell was knocked out.

Lydia "The Sledgehammer" Ellison defeated "The Director" Hal McIntosh to become the new Light-Heavyweight Champion. The Girl was Special Guest Referee. With the win, Lydia caused there to be a tournament for the World Heavyweight Title.

(34 better than Frank | Who's better than Frank?)

16th June, 2004. 9:23 pm. Results: Extinction(landogriffin23)

Becca "The Clock" Orth defeated Julia "The Jet" Graham.

Laura Westfall & "Famous" Wayne Amos were defeated by "The Annihilator" Adam Wright & Wade "Puffy" Langer.

"Mercilesss" Miss Jane Gibbs defeated Handicap Harold with "The Hardcore Justice" Jason Vaughn as Special Guest Referee.

In a Ladder Match, "Sadistic" Sara James defeated "Big Bad" Jon Becker.

"Unfriendly" Frank Hadder & Kim "The Krusher" Kouch defeated "Gigantic" George Vinson & Robert "Psycho" Schumann.

Morgan "The Machine" Wilson & Lydia "The Sledgehammer" Ellison defeated "Jovial" Josh Gilbert & "The Living Legend" Lacey Johnson.

John Cook defeated "Der Macho Man" Johannes Brahms to defend his Hardcore Championship.

"Chainsaw" Charlie Lucas & Montgomery H. Bleedalot were defeated by Brian "Beandip" McConnell & "Brave" Bonnie Brown.

For the Intercontinental Title, "Stone Curly" Elaine Harris defeated Kevin "The Hammer" Hobbes.

"Hardcore" Allen Gillespie defeated Justin "Yellow Shirt" Banks. To aid him in his victory was "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright. "Jazzy" Ben Cook tried to stop Wright, but to no avail.

Once again defending their Tag Team Titles, "Big Don" Jonathan Haynes & "Sticky Hands" Michael Conners defeated Adam "Sneaky" Wesley & Debbie Reaves.

In a Cage Match, Brandon "Magic" Vinson made quick work of "Jazzy" Ben Cook.

In an Ironman Tag Match to return the World Heavyweight Title, The Girl and "Mr. Showtime" Zach Banks defeated "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright & Lee "Simba" Wright. In doing so, l.W.o. stalls the P.T.A.'s plans on returning their coveted title.

Hal "The Director" McIntosh defeated Rick "The Brick" Barnes to hold on to his Light-Heavyweight Title.

(11 better than Frank | Who's better than Frank?)

10th June, 2004. 3:50 am. Results: Car Party!! Wooo! Alright!!!!(landogriffin23)

"Wicked" Wolfgang A. Mozart & Ludwig van "Badass" Beethoven defeated The Coolest Guys Ever, "Unfriendly" Frank Hadder & Brett "The Inside Joker" Davis.

"Stone Curly" Elaine Harris defeated "Short Cold" Vallerie Paulin with Amanda Westfall as a special guest referee.

Roy G. Brady defeated Ben "The Bus" Jordan.

"Gigantic" George Vinson & Franz Schubert defeated Zach "Mr. Showtime" Banks & "Sadistic" Sara James.

Lydia "The Sledgehammer" Ellison defeated Jessica Blackwell.

Teresa Hereford & Gabie Ganey defeated Justin "Yellow Shirt" Banks.

John Cook defeated "The Hardcore Justice" Jason Vaughn to become the new Hardcore Champion.

"Hardcore" Allen Gillespie made it out of the cage to defeat Montgomery H. Bleedalot.

Adam "Sneaky" Wesley & Debbie Reaves defeated Chris "The Mayor" Robinson & Brooks Etheredge to become number-one contender for the Tag Team Championship.

Kevin "The Hammer" Hobbs successfully defended his Intercontinental Title against Laura Westfall. Both "Stone Curly" Elaine Harris and "Short Cold" Vallerie Paulin interfered in the match.

Lee "Simba" Wright defeated The Girl with the help of "Sadistic" Sara James.

"Big Don" Jonathan Haynes & "Sticky Hands" Michael Connors defeated "Conquering" Carol Vinson & Kathy Cook to retain their Tag Team Titles.

In a Triple Threat Match featuring "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright, Brandon "Magic" Vinson, and "Jazzy" Ben Cook, Dr. Wright pinned Ben Cook before Brandon Vinson could break up the cover.

Rick "The Brick" Barnes won a Hardcore First-Blood Royal Rumble to become number one contender for the Light-Heavyweight Title.

"The Director" Hal McIntosh defeated "Bone-Baraquin'" Johann Sebastian Bach and held onto his Light-Heavyweight Championship. Carol Vinson tried to interfere in the match, but was stopped by Elaine Harris.

(4 better than Frank | Who's better than Frank?)

10th June, 2004. 1:57 am. CHAMPIONSHIP HISTORY: The World Heavyweight Championship(bennyc4youandme)

The World Heavyweight Championship was long considered to be the ultimate prize in the Wright Wrestling Federation. Many champions have had long, successful reigns as such, while others have had it for a very short time.

Arguably the most prominent champion of all time was Brandon "Magic" Vinson. He was one of the earliest champions of pertinent history. He has held the title many times, and his title reigns generally lasted for a very long time. He had a way of being ruthless and efficient to gain and defend a title.

His prime rivals for the championship position were "Jazzy" Ben Cook and "The Caged Lion" Dr. Robert Wright, enemies in their own right. Wright has never given Magic a moment's peace in any of his matches, always running in and trying to keep his enemy from winning.

Ben's rivalry with Magic was something entirely different. Usually friends and allies, all that flew out the window when the belt was in sight. Their matches were brutal numerous. Opportunistic when they fought each other, their matches were fast-paced and unpredictable.

Ben held the belt many times, but had shown to be a somewhat unreliable champion. Less efficient than Magic, he would drag matches out far longer than need be. Then someone would interfere and he would lose. He had particular problems with cage matches and ladder matches, always dominating the fight but losing the race to the top.

After the initial Magic Eras and Ben's attempts to take the belt from him, "Stone Curly" Elaine Harris came out on top of the wreckage. She held the belt for only a very short time before Kim "The Krusher" Kouch defeated her to win it for herself. It was a very long time before the title changed hands again. Kim defeated both Ben and Magic in title defenses, as well as an array of other challengers.

In the end, a complete upset occurred when Rick "The Brick" Barnes defeated Kim. Rick was a hero to all, having been severely underestimated for a very long time. Finally, he had a moment of glory. That moment was short, however, for Laura Westfall defeated him for the belt in his very next match.

Ben won the title again. He had one of his most successful reigns yet. He was, however, defeated by "Hardcore" Allen Gillespie when Wade "Puffy" Langer betrayed him.

Gillespie held the belt for a while before Magic climbed the ranks and took him down. This time, Magic's reign as champion was unmatched by any previous reign. He defeated many comers and former champions, including the Wrights.

Magic's era, which was one of the longest of any champion ever, was finally ended when Ben, who was sick of Magic's era, challenged him to a sixty-minute Ironman Match. Ben decimated his opponent with a final score of 27-13.

Cook held the belt for an extremely long time. As long as, or possibly longer than, Magic's last era, in fact. Cook eventually entered his title in a sixteen-man tournament, where Mandie Lucas won it. (For entry into this tournament, one had to have won a Hardcore First-blood Royal Rumble.)

At this time, however, Magic had won both the Light-Heavyweight Title and ownership of the WWF. He, being the arrogant jerk he was (and is), declared that the Light-Heavyweight Belt was the most valuable belt in existance, while the World Heavyweight Championship was worthless.

Several low-profile contenders won the World Heavyweight Championship after that before it was eventually lost.

Lee Wright, however, eventually found the belt in the crowd during a match. He and his faction, the Parent Teacher Association, are endeavoring to return it to its former glory. The conservative factions of the WWF back these efforts, while progressive factions like l.W.o (spearheaded by company co-owner and Lee Wright-hater Elizabeth "The Girl" Lovell) wish to bring even greater glory to the Light-Heavyweight Championship.

We will have to wait and see who prevails.

Naturally, we didn't mention all the champions that we've had, but we hit on the highlights.

(Who's better than Frank?)

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